Tuesday, January 21, 2020

Sunday, January 19, 2020

Saturday, January 18, 2020

Pretzel candle grilling (PCG). Will a new eating craze sweep the nation?

Forsyth MO. - In an otherwise completely nondescript small town located in southwestern Missouri, a revolutionary new grilling technique was born. The question now is just how popular the practice will become!

I was sitting at a local bar on an otherwise droll sort of cheerless day in January where the outside temperature was near freezing. Unfortunately, so was the bar due to a heating unit failure. So, it was, in an attempt maintain a modicum of body heat, that I had absconded with a small candle sitting on the bar that gave my chilled fingers some small amount of life-giving heat....

There I sat, sipping my brew-ski while watching flat screen TV at the far end of the bar. Suddenly, a somewhat strange looking man sitting next to me, roughly reached over and grabbed my candle. I was sure a fight was brewing when he did that and looked at him with a glare. Instead, the strange man smiled at me and proceeded to take a pretzel from a bag, slide it onto a straw and then held it over the flame. After a moment or two, he grabbed that morsel and ate it. A smile of satisfaction breaking out on his face.

'I say there. sir.' I intoned in a strident tone of voice that broke. ' But, what the heck are you doing with those pretzels and MY candle?'

He smiled back at me, and then handed me the straw and another pretzel and said, 'Here. Give it a try.'

As I was a bit flummoxed and unsure, I decided to do as he had instructed..... Then, after a moment or two, I grabbed the now warm morsel and ate it. Too my great surprise, it was incredible, as there was a hint of pumpkin pie taste that must have been given off by the pumpkin pie scented paraffin.

After that moment, it was with wild abandon that we both began to grill pretzels while drinking, laughing and watching the fog given off each time we exhaled into the cold bar air....

And so, something new came out of the evening, as I intend to bring pretzels and candles with me on my next visit....

Friday, January 17, 2020

The upcoming impeachment hearings for 2021!

After Trump wins the 2020 election cycle and remains President for another four years, Democrats are very likely to continue on in what has become the tradition of unseating the un-seatable.

December 2020 – As newly elected President Donald Trump prepares to march the Nation forward for a new term, beginning in January 2021, Democrats will be spending all their time trying to impeach him on some brand new charges of potential Presidential misconduct.

As I had an ear to that rumor mill, here were just a few of the 'hot' topics that I understand are being talked about behind very closed doors....

  • Charges of potential criminal larceny, to be filed, for the intentional misappropriation of funds for such items as White House toilet paper. Code name 'Shit Storm'.
  • An investigation into a potential sex scandal involving many high up Chinese government women. Code name 'Ah So'.
  • Gathering evidence that Trump was secretly working with Russia on developing an intelligent fungus that would replace people via absorption. This accomplished through the manipulation of the earth's magnetosphere that would cause everyone, (excepting those Democrats who had a working symbiotic relationship with the aforementioned fungus) to regain power! Code name 'A Fungus Among Us'.

If any of these investigation proved to be true, it would be an existential threat to Democracy, the US Constitution, black people and the World at large.

Sunday, January 12, 2020

Chili, it's what's for lunch!

Call me strange, call me weird even call me dull. But, never call me late for a big bowl of chili served steaming hot, complete with chopped onion, shredded cheese and some saltine crackers!

Sunday, January 5, 2020

A tribute to Mash!

The real challenge for every soul, no matter what the trials they face each day, will be to hopefully shout out 'I will not give in! Hell no! I will go forth on this new day and I will be the best that I can be'.... God approves that attitude, don't ya know?

And the lyrics...

Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see
That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
So this is all I have to say...
Suicide is painless (suicide)
It brings on many changes (changes)
And I can take or leave it if I please
The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But, as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger
Watch it grin!
Suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
A brave man once requested me
To answer questions that are key
Is it to be or not to be
And I replied oh why ask me?
Suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please
And you can do the same thing if you please....