Slow Cooker Bean Soup with Cubed Ham!

Make what fun you will of beans, those magical fruit! They still deliver a hearty taste along with good basic nutrition at cheap cost every time. This slow cooker version is one I’ve made for a number of years now. I happen to like it and hope you will too.

Ingredients:

• 8 oz. Great Northern beans, soak over night
• 4 cups of water
• 2 8 oz cans tomato sauce or one 16 oz. can
• 1 cup ham, diced
• 1 med. Russet potato, peeled and cut into cubes
• 2 carrots, peeled and chopped
• 2 stalks of celery, chopped
• ½ medium onion, chopped
• 1 clove of garlic, minced or sub garlic powder
• 1 tbsp basil or parsley
• 1 dash of cayenne pepper
• Salt and pepper to taste (hold off til the end)

Directions:

Soak the beans overnight as per package instructions. Drain off old water and place in a 3 quart pot. Add 6-8 cups of fresh water and bring to a brief boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 30 to 45 minutes. Drain once again and move to the slow cooker. Test the beans at this time. Note: They should feel somewhat soft.

Combine the beans with three cups of fresh water along with the rest of the ingredients. (Note: do not add salt until the beans are done as this will only toughen them)! Cook on low for about 4 hours. Test for doneness and add salt towards the end of the cooking cycle. Serves 6-8.

Cooks Log:

Following is a real time log of the cooking process for this recipe;

11/25/11 - Soaked beans overnight.

11/26/11 – 9:00 AM - drained & rinsed beans. Added fresh water and brought to a brief boil, then reduced heat.

9:15 AM - Simmered for 45 minutes!

9:50 AM - Rinsed the beans again and added them to the slow cooker. Added warm water and tomato sauce. Beans were beginning to feel somewhat soft. Also nuked the veggies & ham for 20 seconds to warm them after taking from the fridge. Left the slow cooker on the high setting to bring the contents up to speed quicker.

10:45 AM - I turned heat to low setting. Smells pretty good at this point.

12:15 PM – Checked slow cooker – everything on track to finish about 2 PM.

1:48 PM – Checked and beans still a little undone!

3:30 PM – Checked and potato still a little al dente. Total time is now 5 ½ hours in slow cooker.

4:00 PM – It was done to a tee!

Summary:

This is a great dish to make anytime of the year! I also like the fact of how inexpensive it is especially if you grow your own vegetables. Sure, the cost of smoked ham has skyrocketed as of late and that’s why I only use a small amount in this recipe.

Critique: Hormel Compleats Turkey & Dressing

Somewhere in the dark recess of my addled brain, I can remember eating something from this line of products called Hormel Compleats; but what the word ‘compleats’ means I’m not sure. (Possibly a word taken from the Greek compleare meaning dire intestinal distress).  It’s also not a frozen entrée, so I have to guess that whatever meat (turkey??) is in there must be swimming in a sea of preservatives. Perhaps Hormel has discovered how to preserve stuff in the same manner that the Egyptians learned to preserve their mummies (sic).

According to the directions, it can be ready in just ’90 seconds!’ Wow, the last time I saw something ready to go that fast, I was hormone filled teenager….but, that’s a story for another time. Ninety seconds huh? Ah, yes, I can see now that the microwave will be involved. You have to slit it and then nuke it. (Optionally, you can also place the entire plastic container (un-slited?) into a pot of boiling water and simmer for 8-9 minutes). So, let me see now, that’s 90 seconds versus 9 minutes. Think I’ll just go ahead and nuke this bastard into submission!

Ranking:

How does this entrée stack up? All categories here are on a scale of 1= disgusting to 10 = multiple orgasms.

Pkg art:      7    Nifty package design. Gosh, this does look inviting!                    

Reality:      4    Reminds me of my college biology dissection class! And this is the bile gland...

Cost:          3    @ $2.95 in Nov 2011 – very high for an entrée!     

Smell:        3   MRE’s smell better than this sh**! Or, at least they smell...               

Texture:     2    Very little that was pleasant…rather like gruel with meat chunks!

Taste:        3    Gag me! I think I’ve been assaulted here!         

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Avg:           3.7 Words fail me! Someone please call a toxicologist!

Nutrition:

Looking at the nutritional label is a telling experience. The serving size is 283 grams for a caloric content of 290 calories. (Warning: Anytime I see a packaged food that delivers a calorie per gram, I’m a little cautious). The cholesterol is also high at 45 mg. (remembering folks that this is an entrée and not a full meal). Likewise, you are being asked to ingest 960 milligrams of sodium or about 40% of the recommended daily intake!

Bottom Line:

Nuke it, inspect the remains for yourself, then chuck it into the garbage can uneaten! That is the last of anything from this company I plan to purchase. Wait I take that all back! I will keep a couple of these on hand for those occasions when relatives come to visit! 'More stuffing Aunt Edna?'

Vegetable Beef Soup

 [click to enlarge]

One of my favorite recipes is a good basic vegetable beef soup that combines a few very basic ingredients added to a simple tomato and beef based broth! This recipe was designed especially for anyone who is on a strict monetary budget (that would be me). If you shop around, you shouldn’t be paying much over three or four dollars for enough soup to make six good sized servings! Note: If you have a garden, you can grow most everything and the cost will be that much less! 2^nd note: if you are missing an ingredient, then substitute another or merely forge right on. You might come up with something even better as a result! The pot I'm using BTW is a 2 quart Le Crueset.

Ingredients:                                                                            Comments

7 oz. beef stew meat or similar                    I hope to be making this recipe with deer meat soon! Whatever, I try and keep the meat limited to a small amount! Which =’s lower LDL (bad) cholesterol as a result!               

15 oz. can of diced tomatoes                       Use a generic, the cheaper the better!

2 stalks of celery, chopped

1 med. Russet potato, peeled & cubed        Make sure you’re using a baker or similar potato that can stand prolonged cooking!

¼ white onion, chopped                              Yellow onions work too!

1/4 c. peas, rinsed

1 carrot, peeled and sliced

1 small wedge of green cabbage                  I’ve done this with red cabbage too! As an alternative, I’ve thrown in a peeled and chopped turnip! Don’t listen to me! Get creative! You are the chef here, aren’t you?

15 oz. can green beans                                 Use canned here, but rinse first!

2 tbsp chives, chopped                                 Use em if you got em! I grow some all year long in my garden!

1 tbsp dried oregano                                    This herb sharpens the taste up just a bit!         

1 tsp dried basil                                            Basil and tomatoes are a great match!

1 tsp dried garlic

1 tsp beef powder                                        Optional. But, it does make up the small amount of real beef used here!

1 tbsp vegetable oil

Fake salt to taste                                          Use the real stuff if your heart can take it!

Cayenne pepper, just a dash                        Adds just a spark of heat, which I like!

Black pepper to taste

Garlic powder, use as much as you dare      1 to three cloves, mashed.

Directions:

Getting that broth going!

Note: if you have a hard time with proportions, just remember that most all the ingredients to make 2 quarts of soup are about 1/4 cup! I'll begin this dish with a small amount of oil at the bottom of a 2 quart pot over medium heat. Add the (room temperature) cubed beef and sauté for a few minutes until brown and then dump into the pot. Next, add a can of diced tomatoes along with 2 cans of water. Stir, bring to a brief boil, then reduce heat and allow everything to come to a slow simmer while you prepare the veggies.

The Vegetables

Prep anything on the counter that looks like a vegetable, making sure to cut them all into fairly equal sizes as this will help to ensure even cooking. Everything goes in with the exception of the cabbage, peas and green beans. I'll hold those back for inclusion in the last thirty minutes of cooking!

Houston we have a problem!

OK! Anyone can make a mistake! My pot only has a few of the ingredients and it already looks almost full! What's going on here? Ah, it turns out this is a 1 1/2 quart pot not a 2 quart one. My bad! No real biggie. I can elect to just move everything to a larger pot OR I could throw it into a SLOW COOKER. Think I'll just go ahead and do that! Slow cookers are cool because you don't have to watch them. Since it's a holiday today, that means I'll have that much more time to watch parades and football!

The Herbs

Now, here is where things can get tricky, depending on what kind of sly culinary fox you are. Herbs contain volatile oils which means that the earlier they are introduced to heat, the more likely their flavor (and smell) will be lost. So, use your judgment as to when they get introduced into the mix. I like to wait until the last thirty minutes of cooking before adding the garlic, oregano and basil. The other guys (pepper and salt) can swim pretty much on their own! Watch out for that cayenne powder! A very little bit of this stuff will affect the overall heat of the finished soup!

That’s it! If you're using a pot on the stove, simmer the soup covered (mostly) for about an hour and a half over low heat, sampling the result anytime after the first hour to judge for doneness. If you're using a slow cooker, leave it at low and cook for 6 to 7 hours. I like to fish out a carrot slice as a good indicator of just how close to the finish it is….

A word on nutrition

Any basic homemade vegetable beef soup is an immune system strengthener to the ninth degree! Not to disparage the ‘chicken soup mindset crowd’; a good vegetable based offering like this will blow the ‘chicken lick’n homeies’ completely out of the water, nutrition-wise. So, if you find yourself in the ‘stressed out holiday season, make sure to keep a batch in the fridge for frequent therapeutic use. And OK yes, a batch of chicken soup wouldn’t hurt to have around either!

A final word about making this recipe. It's a whole lot simpler to do  than I think I portrayed it here.  If you find you're in a hurry with limited time to mess around, just throw everything all at one into a slow cooker, turn it onto low and get out! Shouldn't take much over ten minutes that way!

What makes an eatery special.

Let's face it, some businesses are better (more successful) than others and that goes double for restaurants. Whereas other business entities may sell you only a product or service, the food trade is where it gets really personal. And, that can be really really good or not so good! Eat a bad meal at one burger joint and you'll know to avoid that place in the future. (Eat something really toxic and you'll end up in a pine box with only your Aunt Edna coming to visit your plot every other Easter). So trust becomes a big deal, which you exercise, each and every time you elect to try that fish special swimming in warm tartar sauce.

Now, having said that, and assuming that your meals are safe to eat, what differentiates one venue from the other are a host of visuals and 'smellables' that may or may not appeal to you personally. For instance, the word ambiance has been mentioned by me on a number of occasions, but what does it really mean?

In my latest book 'Eating Below the Belt', I talk at length about ambiance and why it plays such a big role for frequent diners. For me personally, the term includes not only the visual layout of the place, but also the smells wafting in from the kitchen and even the appearance of the patrons that are present at the time. Let's look at two examples, shall we?

Now, how would you feel about going there to eat as opposed to....

So, yes! The visual ambiance is VERY important, as (it would seem) is the establishments name!

Also, of major import, is how the place smells. What hits your nose should be wholesome and enticing to the senses; a veritable potpourri of delicate flavors that ratchet up your desire to eat there. Compare walking into Desserie's where you immediately smell the light and savory touch of a vegetable soup slowly simmering on the stove, along with just a hint of pasta sauce; against that of Betty's Organ Meat Emporium which literally wallops one across the head with the strong smell of liver and onions masking a not so subtle undercurrent of overcooked sauerkraut! I ask you now, which place would stir up your noodles?

As a final note, even the people that frequent a place where you go will have an impact on how you feel about your dining experience. Carefully inspect these side by side photo's and make your own decision. For myself, I happen to like going to Betty's and ripping my teeth into a mammoth juicy liver sandwich. Oh, and yes, that's a picture of me (on the left) getting ready for yet another organ meat repast! Bon apetite!
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Everyone, please be sure and pick up a copy of Mr. Dingo's latest book entitled 'Eating Below the Belt', now on sale in book stores near you and on the net! DanO's book will carry you on a spell binding tour of the dark underside of the restaurant trade where he will also disclose some of the most disgusting and filthy secrets kept by restaurant owners everywhere! Once you start reading Eating Below the Belt, you'll only put it down so you can throw up! Inside his novelette, you'll find chapters on topics few people are willing to discuss with anyone other than their doctors:

Why is my food moving and should I go ahead and eat it anyway? (Chapter 8)
How to tell if the cook urinated on your food and what you can do about it! (Chapter 3)
Where did this steak tartar REALLY come from? (Chapter 5)
Why women find men with large stomachs extremely sexy! (Chapter 7)
What to do in case you split your pants! (Chapter 4)
Five ways to handle your 'front porch' in tight spots. (Chapter 12)

Yes, DanO (practically) guarantees you will be spell bound when you read Eating Below the Belt! A must read for every fatty and a real steal at only $24.95!

Thoughts for this Thanksgiving!

I’m going to venture a guess that for a many families all across the United States, this could well be one of the first times when just getting a bird on the table might prove a challenge; never mind the trimmings and fixings. Widespread lack of employment, an uncertain [more]

Fast food chains from the germaphobes viewpoint!

Fast food emporiums are as common as street lights. They exist on most every corner of large cities and even small towns like mine generally support one or two. From my standpoint and speaking as a germaphobe, they are also to be treated as weapons of mass destruction. Actually, any place that combines food with high numbers of patrons qualifies as a potential site of germ warfare entanglement. And, that’s even more true if you add the child factor to the equation. To me, the term ‘mobile petri dish’ pretty much defines any kid under the age of 5.  If they’re not busy crawling around on the floor, they’re sticking their fingers on and into every surface they possibly can! With each tactile exploration, new germs are picked up for a free ride. Hey! Is that ankle biter heading for MY table!?! Did he just sneeze? You can see, then, why I’m so paranoid when going to an eatery where children are allowed!

The thing is though; I hate the drive-through, preferring instead a nice sit down meal experience. Also, I will admit a certain fatal addiction to eating a Big Mac now and then. So much so, that I’m willing to brave the dangers of rampant infection to have one. But, just because I go to these places does not mean I have to act stupid as well. I take due precautions to insure my visit will be a germ free one.

My entry protocol at off hours only, please

Whenever I go to a place like McDonald’s I try to do so at an off time. That would be really, really early for breakfast and shortly after 11 AM for lunch. I absolutely never go to a fast food joint any later than 1PM as they tend to really get ‘junked up’ prior to the next morning cleaning efforts.

When approaching the order counter, I make it a point to check anyone who is already there. Was that guy sneezing? Does that lady have red puffy eyes? This candid inspection also includes the staff who are preparing my food. Sometimes I’ve had to lean way over the counter to see them in the back of the food prep area. (I know I’m beginning to sound like the actor that played Monk on TV). But, if I have even the slightest concern, I’m out of the place in a flash. “Hey! Where’d he go?”

Acquiring your order in a safe manner

Whenever you pay for something with currency, you're inviting all sorts of nasty germs as paper and coins are exchanged. So, I make it a point to know what I’m going to spend and to carry enough singles and change to exactly cover the cost. That way I can pay an exact amount and not have to get anything back! Also, when I’m at the counter, I make sure to never actually touch the surface. I first go, instead, over to the condiment section and grab a few napkins first before even getting in line. Then, when my tray is ready, I can use a napkin to grasp and carry it to my table. Who da man now?

The evil condiment counter

Invariably, I will order something that requires filling at the condiment center (a coke) or a tiny basket of ketchup (a subject of a future blog). The coke is really no big deal because no one ever touches the spigots (do they?). However, the ketchup dispenser is the focus of all sorts of hands (both young and old) all day long. (I can just imagine what sorts of germs are on that thing)! So, taking a clean napkin, I use it over my fingers to prevent me from of actually touching the pump handle. See, problem solved.

Once at the table never drop your guard

Now that I had all my food together at the table, I try and make darn sure not to touch the table itself. I’m sure that the staff must wipe them down, it’s just that in twenty years of eating at places like that, I’ve never observed it actually happen. One time, I went as far as to bring a can of Lysol with me, but after spraying down the table, I was visited by the management. “Hey you got a problem, Bud?” OK, so no more cans of Lysol. But, it would be nice if they had those wipe stations like they do at the grocery store.

I hope you find these pointers useful and if not that, at least a little entertaining!

In some future time even our robots will have problems!

In the movie Wall-E, a trashy used up garbage compactor falls for a sleek beauty of futuristic design. Yet, even among machines, things can go wrong as this clip shows! And yes, that be my love life...