Generic Luncheon Loaf review!

Well, I’ve now officially hit rock bottom with my ‘crap in a container’ review blogs. Today, I’m going to not only eat this ‘mystery meat’, but I’m also going to try and hold it down as well. As far as I am aware, no one I know has ever admitted to actually eating this kind of meat before. Seriously, is there anyone you know who has? Send me a note if you do.

I bought canned meat at a nearby grocery chain. They carry a generic brand called ‘Always Save’ which is distributed by a Kansas City company called Associated Wholesale Grocers. I think they were mentioned in the movie called Soylent Green. You know… that 1973 movie about people that were eating other people? Maybe not, I digress.

First Impressions

The container advertises the product as containing chicken and pork which was encouraging. That was until I saw that the meat had been ‘mechanically separated.’ Boy! I don’t like the sound of that! The last time I saw meat treated in this manner, it was the result of a high speed auto accident.

There’s a nice comforting meaty picture on the can that I assume is there to encourage one prior to consumption. It does look a little like ham, if you squint hard enough. OK, time to crack this baby open and think up a way to prepare it for lunch.

Prior to my taste test, I decided to serve this ‘meatloaf’ with some scrambled eggs. I wanted to push the ham imagery thing and so I cut a nice slice (40 grams) which was then seared in a George Foreman grill. (Just like you’d do a slab of ham with sear marks and everything).

In the end, the visual result wasn’t too bad! As you can see, I went whole hog on the breakfast theme and fried up some potatoes to go with the eggs and ‘ham’. The result (avec the toast, bacon, sausage and pancakes) was eerily similar to Denny’s infamous Lumberjack Slam breakfast.

An aside about Denny’s Lumberjack Slam

Speaking of which, I was shocked out of my socks to read the nutritional score on that culinary disaster. I guessing you have to be very fit, like a Lumberjack, to eat this meal without tempting an instant coronary! Get this: serving size – 21 ounces (that’s 1 1/3 lbs)! Calories 910 (half a days worth)! Cholesterol, an artery clogging 540 mg! And last, but not least, the sodium dosage was a mind boggling 3,250 milligrams. Whoa Nellie! That’s like dumping a tablespoon of table salt right down your throat! By contrast, my meal deal (as pictured) was a paltry 6 ounces, had 395 calories, 246 mg of cholesterol and only 289 milligrams of salt. Not even in the same league! (Still, I’d trade my crap for their crap in a heartbeat, that is, assuming my heart would continue beating after-wards).

Onwards

Now, as to the all important taste test. I know you are just hanging on the edge of your seat to find out!

After grilling a small 40 gram slice and getting it on the plate with the other items, I thought it looked pretty neat! However, if I was looking for the taste of ham, I was disappointed. Instead, while the meat did taste a little ‘meaty’, it was also a little mushy. I suppose in a pinch it could work, but perhaps that’s the whole point of any packaged meat. Buy some, put it on your shelf for emergencies and hope there never is one. 

Overall I would give this meat a score of 5. My recommendation is buy it, store it and then forget it.

The skinny on Stove Top’s Stuffing Mix for chicken!

Having pretty much exhausted the line of Banquet Dollar Meals, I now turn my culinary eye to Stove Top and their line of stuffing mixes. The question I had uppermost on my mind today was who actually gets stuffed here? Is it my taste buds? Maybe my waistline or even my pocketbook? Hmm?

I’ll wager that, you the reader, have a box of stuffing mix hidden away somewhere in your pantry. Possibly a box that never got used on the last holiday. Come on. Get up right this minute and go check. I’ll wait…. My box was behind some other boxes of Mac and Cheese (which I will not be reviewing thank you kindly). And, I’m guessing it’s been around a while as the use by date is set for January 2012. My how the time does fly!

The directions for making the stuffing could not be easier. You bring one and a half cups of water mixed with butter (4 tbsp) to a boil then stir in the package contents. Cover this and let it stand off the heat for about five minutes. Voila – you’re ready to rock. Note: If you do, in fact, find these directions confusing, I would suggest contemplating suicide in the drive up lane at McDonald’s.  'Yes, I’ll have that order super-sized. Ka Bam!'

Before getting into the nutritional stuff a word of caution. Kraft’s idea of a serving is rather strange. They must think the world is full of midgets. A serving, according to them is 28 grams. Check the picture A for how that much looks on a standard plate. What is that? Maybe a mouthful? Two? Anyway, that’s not what I call a man’s portion (picture B at 78 grams). So, right off the bat, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna get screwed here. Instead of just 110 calories, I will be ingesting more like 300! And the sodium, who doesn’t need more sodium in their diet? Well, 430 milligrams now shoots up to 1,195 milligrams or about half a days worth! Think I’ll stop right there, I’m already depressed. I should have been wary of any food with the word ‘stuffing’ in it!

But wait! There is a redeeming quality to be had! For one thing the smell of this side dish is to die for. If you’ve just thrown together a dinner that screams leftovers, the addition of a little stuffing could be the game saver you’re looking for. So, for that alone I’ll give this one a score of 8 on a scale of 10. Just remember, that for most of us, the calories here are the real stuffing.