Critique: Celeste Deluxe Pizza for one!

At only a buck and a quarter, I thought what the heck. I’d give this ‘deluxe’ pizza creation by Celeste a go. I mean what could I lose by trying? At only 370 calories, this pizza for one should go nicely with a tosses salad and maybe a glass of milk; the perfect combo to enjoy while watching a late night football game. The only real negative that I could find when inspecting the nutritional panel was the 980 milligrams of salt (41% of the recommended daily allowance) that you also get when chow down – to me large amounts of salt are always an admission by the manufacturer that their product tastes pretty bad. Lots of salt almost always makes up for that…almost.

Pizza was even smaller than I thought!

The directions were very simple; preheat your oven to 400F with a cookie sheet on a middle rack, remove the pizza from the box and unwrap the plastic then place the aforementioned pizza on the cookie sheet and cook for about 14 minutes. (Yeah, there’s microwave instructions on the box too, but anyone who has ever nuked a pizza knows what a bad experience that can be)!

…OK, so at the last minute I decided to go with the microwave after all. (I mean, who wants to wait for 15 minutes when 3 is much better)! After the nuking, I used my handy dandy pizza cutting wheel to cut it into cute little sections and then proceeded to chow on down.

Two quick thoughts. This meal went down fast. I had finished the entire pizza in under a minute! Was it good. I dunno. Everything happened too fast to tell. But, at 370 calories I guess I made my tummy happy and will plan to order a few backups for those evenings when a quick pizza fix is all I need! Score this one an 8 and make sure to buy two next time!

Reheated pizza and my path towards the Matrix!

Cypher: You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? [Takes a bite of steak]
Cypher : Ignorance is bliss.

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It is a fact of life that eating a pizza is perhaps one of the fastest ways of breaking a diet that is known to man. Everything on that pie, with the possible exception of the olives, is bad for you in one way or the other. And, like potato chips, I dare you to eat just one slice. Can’t be done! No way Jose!

Leftover pizza is even worst. It sits in the fridge and calls to me like a siren from Homer’s Odyssey. This goes on until sometime about 1 AM when I can take it no more. I get up, pop a slice into the microwave and moments later all is cheesy bliss! As I eat though, I have to forcibly ignore this little guy in my head. He's the one who's in charge of my metabolism and he's screaming to be heard above the sound of a klaxon. ‘all hands on deck – get those fat cells ready to take on a sh**load!’

The next morning dawns and the cycle repeats itself as I mentally justify having pizza instead of cereal for breakfast. I manage this by promising myself I won’t have yet another slice for lunch [lie] or two slices for dinner [lie #2]. This torture goes on until the last satisfying morsel is consumed.

That line from the Matrix brought it all home to me! Were that I was a bit more naive, I could consume copious amounts of this most wonderful food in complete and utter bliss.