The Horse-Burger. Has he lost his mind?

OK. I'll save everyone the suspense. I have been adjudged, by a panel of psychiatrists (aka nut doctors), as a 'marginal' individual on the basis of mental stability. That said, I'm still loose out in society, have a spatula and am considered somewhat dangerous only in the kitchen! Disclaimer: No actual horse meat was used in the making of this meal!

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My current 'Old Man Styled American Diet' (COMSAD), while not expressly allowing for comfort foods such as hamburgers, did not specifically exclude them either! To that end, I made myself up a very simple burger with just one small twist. I added some horseradish to the duo of ketchup and mustard that I normally apply. I called it a Horse-Burger, as a result. (It's a free speech thing).

So, I had me two Ball Park buns, a hamburger patty, a slice of onion and the aforementioned trio of condiments. Simple. (Much like the cook)! Preparation was a breeze, as I cooked the burger on a 20 year old Joe Foreman grill, that was working better than I was. The whole affair took about ten minutes, start to finish. I also added a dollop of Reser's coleslaw to the plate, right next to the burger and then sat down to dig right in....

RESULTS: In what might be described as 'youthful enthusiasm' (?), I used perhaps a tad too much horseradish! [One good side effect - My sinuses cleared up for the first time in quite a while!]

All that said, the Horse-Burger was pretty darn good and tasty! I do plan to make it again!

The total cost of this meal a deal was just about a buck. Contrast that to an order of a Big Mac with medium fries at close to $8!! Below is a fairly accurate estimate of the nutritional values:

Freezer Burn Bill! DanO Burger's poor cousin!

Note: This was not what I was going to get to eat this day!

 It was a very dark time in my life... No wait! It was actually still dark outside when I got up. Honestly, it was more of a hungry time in my life, as I was on a diet from hell. And, while the weight loss results had been rather mixed, I have managed to march forward even to the point of enjoying a good old fashioned DanO Burger! Well, it was sort of like that...

On this Valentines Day, on an otherwise nondescript February in 2017, I decided to assemble a more rudimentary burger wannabe thing, thereby foregoing all the razzle dazzle that was in my more infamous creation. (Eating a hamburger that was to be under 400 calories takes a little bit of planning don't you know). Firstly, I had to forget about having a side dish. Secondly, I also went on the light side in terms of condiments, especially where it concerned the use of Mayo! So, this was a rather plain Jane affair consisting of; a bun, 150 gram hamburger patty, a slice of lettuce, sliced cherry tomatoes and some mustard and ketchup. Can you say boring? I could hardly wait to sit down to that affair, let me tell you!

Meet Freezer Burn Bill!

To add insult to injury, I didn't have any fresh buns on which to mount my burger! My only option was an old frozen bun that I had stuck into my freezer back in '68 or thereabouts. (I never knew you could 'freezer burn' a bun)! Anyway, that's what I had and that's what I was going to eat! I took a picture of it at right. In spite of it rather plain looks, the burger was one of my better efforts in the taste department!

The infamous DanO Burger revisited!

Making a great tasting hamburger is both a science and an art! The quintessential ingredients are just two; a good hamburger bun and awesome ground beef. But, it is the add-ons and the condiments that can make or break the entire eating experience! That in mind, let's break down this bad boy...

Buns

Buying a cheap bun will put the kabash on the whole burger deal early on. The ideal soft burger bun should be pillowy, squishy, and tender, with a tight but soft crumb and a distinct sweetness. It should hold up nicely to the burger's juices, but also should never be tough or cottony in texture. On the opposite end of the spectrum, you don't want a burger that disintegrates half way through your meal. I personally prefer the offerings from folks like Pepperidge Farm! I had to settle for Ball Park buns which are all I could find at the Country Mart store where I live.. (Good enough for the masses, but I can guarantee these are never found in Hilliary's pantry). Add a bit of butter and quickly grill on a hot plate just before serving!

Ground Beef

For heavens sake, don't buy low fat burger meats – a good juicy hamburger uses a beef blend of at least an 80/20 lean to fat ratio. In my case, I like to order the best meat I can afford. I personally like the Angus burgers offered at Schwan's. They are fully cooked, fire-grilled burgers with select seasonings and a fresh grilled taste that you can nuke in the microwave! Awesome.

Add-ons

OK, here is an area where I sometimes like to go a little wild especially after drinking beer! – But, a true DanO burger keeps it simple and stupid. I only add a generous slice of white or red onion, romaine lettuce, thinly sliced dill pickles for added crunch and a fresh tomato! (Note that I said fresh, not hothouse). While I like cheese, I don't use it on this creation.

Condiments

The real coup d'etat for any hamburger creation centers around what types of condiments you decide to slather on your bun just before eating. In my case, that would be four; ketchup, mayo, mustard and just a bit of horseradish. This combination provides a mouthwatering mix that is tangy with just the hint of a bite. 

Nutrition and cost

A DanO Burger comes in at about 500 plus calories, so it's a meal unto itself.  In this prep, I was forced to do with out the tomato and used pickle relish instead of the sliced dills I really prefer. Still in a war, you dive for the nearest foxhole...