Banquet’s Fettuccini Chicken Alfredo review!

Posted on March 10, 2021 by forsythkid Whenever I hear the words of any meal that has the word Alfredo in it (an Italian pasta dish of fresh fettuccine tossed with butter and Parmesan cheese). I always envision an aortic heart attack on a plate sort of entree.

The meal I chose to eat made by Banquet had both Alfredo sauce and pasta in it along with some chunks of chicken that made it very tasty even as too much could be very deadly. Yet this particular meal was a small enough amount (330 calories), to make it suitable to eat as a nonthreatening dinner repast. Like most of Banquet TV dinner deals, this was a slash, nuke, stir and nuke again affair that is an easy prep in under seven minutes. The resulting smells are great and the taste is even better! And, at $1.25 it was a good fit for my limited budget.

Critique: Rigatoni & Italian Sausage with Meatballs!

In past posts, I've often hammered the Banquet brand, (and for good reason). This critique will not be along the sames lines. Yeah..

For lack of a better descriptor, I'll call these products from Banquet, Mini Meals. This particular meal deal was billed as a 'Rigatoni & Italian Sausage with Meatballs'! Oh yummy! As with most of Banquets $1 meals, I've generally found them best to consumed when you are also somewhat consumed with alcohol!

The directions were pretty easy, as is the case for most of the Banquet dollar offerings. Slit the film, nuke for 2 minutes, open the film and stir and the seal and nuke for 2 more minutes. I found I could even do that!

OK, for a pasta and meat meal deal, I do confess to have enjoyed the taste! And, lo and behold! The sodium was only 650 mg which nicely complimented the also low calorie count of 300! Likewise saturated fats were about 20% and so very livable.

Be still, my heart! But, I think I may just order this one again! Gave it a solid 8!

Critique: Banquet’s Chicken Pot Pie

At .92 cents (plus tax) circa 2013, the Chicken Pot Pie from Banquet is still somewhat of a bargain. Amazingly, that’s pretty much what they cost back in 2011 when I did a similar review.

So, here we are in 2013 – and moving ever so rapidly into Obama’s concept of Changing America. (It’s a Progressive thing or so I’m told)! Nothing much has changed these past four years – my friends are mostly still out of work or on some form of entitlement, so we all have to shop around for ‘cheap eats’ we like on a regular basis. Pot pies fill that bill nicely.

One of my favorites is the ubiquitous Chicken pot pie, a product that has been around in one form or another ever since I was a small tike. (When my parents couldn’t afford decent food, they could always shell out a quarter or so for a pot pie). As I remember, we had them quite often back then. Even today, these products from Banquet do go on sale – I just recently picked up a bunch that sold to .59¢! Not bad considering…

Today, the pot pie has come a long ways. They’re ‘nukeable’ now and so don’t require a hot oven to be cooked in. Just 4 to 5 minutes in a microwave does the trick. The smell, however, is unique to this dish and hasn’t changed very much over the years. Heavenly!

On the bad side of the eating coin, pot pies are high in salt and saturated fats (see label) and so I don’t make eating them an everyday thing. Still, for a fast hot meal, on the go, they can’t be beat!

Critique: Banquest's Swedish Meatballs!

Just what is it about those Swedes and their meatballs? Do those folks at Banquet know something the rest of us don’t? I’ve always thought that a good meatball was more the domain of the Italians!  Am I wrong here? OK, let’s take a gander under the hood of this creation by the chefs at Banquet.

I’ve actually been called a ‘meatball’ in the past. Not in very kind circumstance either! Truth is, growing up in a suburb of Chicago was pretty tough. My nickname, back then, was ‘Otis’, (no not that drunk on the Andy Griffith show). My friends were actually referring to Big Otis OK cereal made by Kellogg’s and which pictured a man with large biceps.
     

“Big Otis", Kellogg's virile, caber-tossing spokes-hunk, proudly flaunts the Scotch Tape clan tartan. I'd love to see this guy duke it out with the Brawny paper towel man.

True fact #1: Big Otis was eventually replaced by Yogi Bear, whose biceps were less intimidating to children.”

Old history aside; a good meatball, especially when combined with al dente pasta in a savory sauce is nothing to casually pass by. I wanted to see how tasty this $1 meal deal was...

First, a couple of random observations:

Has anyone ever noticed how often the makers (ConAgra) tell the consumer what a ‘Good Source of Protein’ their TV dinners are? I researched this and came up with an old movie called ‘Soylent Green’ where a somewhat dim-witted, but ‘gamey’ (tongue in cheek) populace of the future were encouraged to eat the government’s high protein wafer style offering (check out the trailer). Here’s an excerpt I doctored:

“In 2022, the population had grown to forty million people in New York City alone. Housing was dilapidated and overcrowded; homeless people filled the streets and line fire (?) escapes and stairways. Food was scarce; most of the population survived on rations produced by the Soylent Corporation, whose newest product was Soylent Green, a small square green wafer advertised to contain "high-energy plankton". Yum-yum! It was advertised as more nutritious and palatable than those other varieties; Red or Yellow, but sadly was in short supply, which lead to food riots.” (For those if you that never saw this production, Soylent Green was made from us humans)!

[Disclaimer needed here – Banquet does not use human flesh in any of its products as far as I know!]

And now, a catch-22 question. Does anyone who actually reads the nutritional label on any TV dinner really care about their health? (If they did, wouldn’t they be eating something, say more fresh or natural)? Just a thought….

Nutrition

If you have any concerns about your health, then I’d take a pass on this meal. Almost half of this dish is composed of fat and saturated fat at that! Also, the cholesterol and sodium amounts are pretty much through the roof! Not something you’d want to assault your body with very often.

Taste

That said; it is exactly those ingredients that make for a savory tasting, and dare I say it, addictive experience! I gave the overall taste of this product a solid 8 – it was pretty darn good. The meatballs, while somewhat diminutive in size, were very edible and who doesn’t like a little pasta in their lives! All said this ‘diet busting’ mouth watering entrée was all it could be for one measly dollar! [ Update May 2014 - still a buck a meal]

Critique: Banquet’s Boneless Pork Rib Meal

Finally! After working my way through a gaggle of 'buck-a-meal' Banquet offerings over the past month, I think I may have found the pick of the crap. Uh, crop.

Whenever I think of pork ribs, I’m always reminded of the infamous McRib that is still offered, off and on, by the McDonald’s franchise. While over-priced (like much else they offer), it still tastes pretty good. (I think this is due, in no large part, to that tangy sauce! Take that away and you'd maybe have a Banquet Meatloaf Meal in a bun).Yuck!

The cooking instructions (like many of Banquet's dollar meals), runs along the line of; slit it, nuke it, stir it up and then nuke it 'one more time baby' just to make sure it's positively and absolutely dead.

After watching my evening meal spin around for three minutes in the microwave (can you get brain damaged from doing that? ), I went to the fridge, got the butter out and grabbed a fork from the dishwasher. Man, I'm ready to eat!

A short time later, while seated at a table, I pointed my TV remote at the tube and got down to eating this meal a deal. As usual, the process went pretty fast (hunger does that to you). Also, there just wasn't all that much to eat... about 370 calories and two hundred and something grams, if I remember correctly. (Actually, every $1 Banquet Meal comes in at only 300-400 calories, now that I think about it. A factoid I may want to investigate at some future date.)

Surprisingly, the overall taste of this meal was much better than I’m used to from Banquet! Whereas most of the critiques I’ve done were lucky to get a six on a scale of ten, I ranked this one a solid 8! The combo of mashed potatoes, corn and BBQ sauce on rendered pork is hard to beat and good to eat!

Update: Since this post, Banquet has since downsized this meal and now calls it their Boneless Pork Riblet Meal! The newer and smaller meal is only 283 grams for 310 calories. What progress!

Critique: Banquet’s Chicken Finger Meal

First off and for clarity, this meal is apparently offered in two 'dollar-a-box' versions. You have your choice of either French fries or Mac n Cheese. I elected to try the Mac n Cheese side on the theory that in no way would I be happy eating a micro serving of fries. Like a Lay's potato chip, you can't eat just one or even a few!

In a similar vein to other reviewers, I was struck by the offering of the brownie. A true rarity in the world of TV dinners, especially cheapies like the ones I tend to eat. In the picture on the box it looks really, really big. I could hardly wait to get my mouth around that puppy. (My only concern was whether I could eat it all at one sitting).

Then, there is the little pile of macaroons sitting in the other side compartment looking like decapitated slugs. I used to eat these a lot  in college when I couldn’t afford better food. Now, decades later, I’m still in the same predicament mostly due to ‘Obama-ecometrics’. I’ve got money, mind you… it just isn’t worth much anymore. I gazed at them for a second more, sighed, and then moved on to main entree.

The ‘chicken fingers’ are the main focus of this meal. There are three of them big boys just a lying there waiting for their chance to shine. According to the directions, you are supposed to ‘rearrange’ these guys half way through the cooking process. In my mind, this opened the door to all sorts of creative (read as perverted) arrangements. This time however, I settled for just moving them around a bit with my fork. To my eventual happiness, I opted for a bottle of BBQ sauce in which to dip them.

So, a few minutes after doing the microwave thing, I had my steaming repast neatly arranged between my fork and my bottle of sauce. For what it’s worth, the Mac and cheese was pretty decent. Not enough there to really matter much, but palatable.  The fingers tasted mediocre, (that BBQ sauce I added really helped), but the brownie… Uh, how can I put this? The brownie sorta sucked! It just didn’t want to be eaten! It was entrenched. I had to dig it out of its compartment with my fork in a manner reminiscent of removing barnacles from the side of a ship. And, the harder I worked at it, the more it disintegrated.

The brownie not withstanding, I gave this meal a six on a scale of ten. Once again, like so many of the other meals by Banquet, it’s good for those times that you don’t want to cook. Then, after you eat it, you remember why you still might want to take a class on cooking in the future.

Critique: Banquet’s Chicken Finger Meal

First off and for clarity, this meal is apparently offered in two dollar-a-box versions. You have your choice of either French fries or Mac n Cheese. I elected to try the Mac and cheese side on the theory that in no way would I be happy eating that micro serving of fries. That would be too much like being asked to eat just one Lays potato chip! Can’t be done.

Like many others who have written internet reviews, I was struck by the offering of the brownie. A true rarity in the world of TV dinners, especially the cheap ones like the ones I tend to eat. In the picture it looks really, really big too. I could hardly wait to get my mouth around that puppy. My only concern was whether I could eat it all at one sitting.

Then, there is the little pile of macaroons sitting in the other side compartment looking like decapitated slugs. I used to eat these a lot when I was in college and couldn’t afford better food. Now, decades later, I’m still in the same predicament due to ‘Obama-ecometrics’. I’ve got money, mind you… it just isn’t worth very much anymore. I gazed at them for a second more, sighed, and then moved on to main entree.

The ‘chicken fingers’ are the main focus of this meal. There are three of them big boys just lying there waiting for their chance to shine. Now, if you bothered to read the directions on the back of the box, you would know that you are supposed to ‘rearrange’ these guys half way through the cooking process. In my mind, this could open the door to all sorts of creative (read as perverted) arrangements. I settled for just moving them around a bit with my fork. To my credit, I did opt for a bottle of BBQ sauce in which to dip them.

So, a few minutes after doing the microwave thing, I had my steaming repast neatly arranged between my fork and my bottle of sauce. I removed that pesky film that covered the meal and chowed on down. A process that took no time at all. For what it’s worth, the Mac and cheese side was pretty decent. Not enough there to really matter, but good none the less.  The fingers tasted just OK, (that BBQ sauce I added really helped), but the brownie… Uh, how can I put this? The brownie sucked! It was deflated in the tray and just didn’t want to be eaten! I had to dig it out of its compartment with my fork in a manner reminiscent of removing barnacles from the side of a ship. And, the harder I worked at it, the more it disintegrated until I finally gave up.

The brownie not withstanding, I gave this meal a six on a scale of ten. Once again, like so many of the other meals by Banquet, it’s good for those times that you don’t want to cook. Then, after you eat it, you remember why you want to take up cooking in the future.

Critique: Banquet’s Chicken Pasta Marinara

OK, maybe critique is too big a word for me to be using. A critique actually refers to an article that criticizes something, as in fault finding and that’s not always the case with the way I write my ‘critiques’. Why I remember only a few weeks back where I actually gave a TV dinner pretty good marks! I think that was the Charbroiled Patty Meal. It got a six rating. Not very stellar, I’ll admit, but still better than most of the other meals I’ve tried from the folks at Banquet. My principal objection to these ‘dollar meals’ is their salt content. Most, if not all, are very high in sodium (as much as 20-30% of a person’s recommended daily requirements). The manufacturer’s use salt to make up for lack of taste in almost all cases. (So, you might say that the folks at facilities like ConAgra lack very much taste)!

That said, what about this one? Well, you do get 280 calories for your money which is not bad. Then, things go downhill a bit with a high fat content of 14 grams and a sodium reading of 550 milligrams (23% of the recommended daily allowance). So not good, not bad, just so so.

The other nice thing about these meals are how easy the preparation is assuming you have a microwave, of course. Just a couple minutes on high, a quick stir and then another minute on high to eliminate any cold spots. Voila, you’re ready to chow down on yet another meal that didn't cost very much and it quick to make!

First, as to quantity. This meal went down very fast, so it’s definitely not of the ‘Hungry Man’ lineage.  Just a couple of mouthfuls and it was time to zip up your fly and say goodbye. In the area of taste, I noticed that the chicken portion was breaded (disguised?) and just a teensy bit mushy-ushy texture-wise, while the pasta in contrast was actually quite good. (The marinara sauce helped out big time). Overall then, a good meal to dig into if you’ve been working late, doing chores or looking for ways to get rid of pesky relatives (just kidding). I gave this deal a stripped down 6 on a scale of 10. As in the earlier Charbroiled Patty rating, this is a meal that works for those times when speed is of the essence.

In closing, I do wish I could figure out what to do with the plastic tray when you get done eating. I hate throwing them out, but have never figured out a use for one after it has fulfilled its primary function. Any suggestions out there?

Critique: Homestyle Charbroiled Patty Meal

I think I have this charbroiled meat thing pretty much figured out. (I’ve seen it on a few Banquet dinners now). You take a chunk of meat like material (this package lists the meat patty as seasoned cooked beef, pork and turkey); pour some gravy over it, add a few noodles and voila, you have a charbroiled whatever. Hint: Sometimes they use different sides in an effort to confuse you. It’s important to note that this meal is also ‘a good source of protein’. (I will sleep better tonight knowing that)!

When you eat this meal, you are getting 310 calories, 950 mg of sodium and about 50 mg of cholesterol. I found the patty to be the consistency of congealed mush, but it did have a rather pleasant taste. The noodles were al dente, thank God, and went well with the gravy. This is another meal I gave relatively good marks to. A good six on a scale of ten. I did not expect any of these buck a meal deals to rank very high and a six is pretty much at the top of that scale.

Critique: Banquet Zesty Smothered Charbroiled Patty Meal

Once again, I confess to being the victim of a catchy name. I mean what man doesn't want to be smothered by hot and tasty food? That said, the march of the meals costing just a buck goes on as will my endless writing about them. But, seriously once again, what man can resist words like ‘zesty’ and ‘smothered’ especially when used in the same sentence? I feel strongly that the reference was in regards to the 'beef patty' pictured on the cover of the meal. Meat, right? Actually, it took me a minute to figure out just what this patty is made of. According to the ingredients label, it’s a combo of pork and mechanically separated turkey meat. (I'm not sure I like the sound of that). According to Wikipedia, this is a paste-like product produced by forcing turkey bones, along with attached edible meat, under high pressure through a sieve or similar device that separates the bone from the edible meat tissue. (Now we all know what mechanically separated means)! Sounds positively yummy!

So, for about a buck, you get a 241 gram combination of meat, potatoes and corn. The package proclaims this meal to be a good source of protein (of course so’s a rat when you think about it). There are 280 calories of which about half are from fat. The sodium is at 750 mg with the cholesterol down a bit at 30 mg. While this meal will not kill you outright, it does get its two cents in.

The directions for preparing this meal is simple as usual. Remove the plastic over the potatoes, cook

on high for three minutes, stir potatoes and the heat for another couple of minutes. If I had a nickel for all the times I removed the plastic from the potatoes recently….

As for taste. Surprisingly, the patty itself was not all that bad. The sauce really helped. It actually tasted like their meatloaf meal, only it was a little hotter. The potatoes tasted like they were instant and the corn…well it tasted a lot like corn.

All together, this is not a bad meal, especially considering the low calories. If you’re on a diet and you’re broke like me, this one could be a candidate to grace your freezer.

Circa Oct 2014 - The meal is still about a buck and still pretty good!

Critique of Banquet’s Mexican Style Chicken Enchilada Meal!

Holy moley, today I’m going south of the border a do a a critique of the final TV dinner of the trio I bought for only .77¢ each. At the end of this blog, I will then rank each on taste, visual appeal and nutrition. Should be very interesting, so stay tuned.

Up to this point, I’ve survived eating both the Chicken Nuggets and Fries meal deal and the Spaghetti and Popcorn Chicken entrees. I feel that I have been objective and fair with both and I’m still living. But now, I am faced with a TV dinner where the chicken is actually hiding out somewhere in the package. I believe it’s in the Enchilada but can’t prove it. Thing is you could put almost any kind of meat in there and no one would be the wiser! People from Mexico routinely eat this stuff and just look at the guy in the picture above. Scary! If I ran into someone that looked like he does on the street I’d call 911. Anyone ever watch those old spaghetti westerns where they’d show a deserted Mexican town with just a dog or two slinking furtively from shadow to shadow. Ever wonder what they’re so afraid of? Hmm? Well, no matter where the source of the protein may come from, I have promised myself to partake of this meal objectively.

The instructions for this .77¢ wonder indicated that I should only just slit the film over the rice and then nuke it for two and a half minutes on high. Next, I was then to ‘spoon sauce over the enchilada and tamale’ (hey! Where did this come from?), and then to stir the rice! After replacing the film cover, I was then to nuke this for an additional 2 minutes.

While I waited for my ‘south of the border’ meal to cool. I checked out the nutritional label. For 238 grams of food I was taking in 280 calories, 790 milligrams of sodium and 45 grams of carbohydrates! Saturated fats were 2.5 grams. Once again, the sodium is through the roof!

In spite of everything, this was most assuredly the best of the sad litter. While it tasted very salty, I found the meal to be strangely satisfying. Maybe I’m falling under the Banquet spell! So what did I think about all three? Which one was best? Actually, they all failed with the exception that if I had no other choice I’d stick with the Mexicans. The Chicken and Fries and Spaghetti dish are just pure road kill.

Meal                                         Taste                         Appeal                 Nutrition
Chicken Nuggets & Fries         A dead Indian            N/A                      Don't ask
Spaghetti & Popcorn Chic        Fungus among us     Soiled shorts        Say what?
Mex Style Enchilada                 Livable                      Good smell          Too much Na          

Critique of Banquet’s Spaghetti & Popcorn Chicken

Oh no, not another Banquet cheapo dinner review! Yes, you glutinous nabobs hiding out there in the blogosphere! Here's my unbiased lowdown on another buck a meal deal.

In case you might be wondering, yes, I am working my way through the entire line of .77¢ (now a buck with inflation) dinners offered by Banquet. A fine Omaha,Nebraska company that makes TV dinners for us downtrodden masses. This time I will be feasting on the Popcorn Chicken version with spaghetti instead of the ‘Nuggets and Fries’ deal from before.Note to self: these two meals are not similar. Each deserves a place of its own on the bottom of the culinary barrel.

Because I would be working with spaghetti instead of French fries, the directions were a little different. Instead of ripping off the entire film from the package as before (a true macho feeling for me), I was instructed to gently remove only the film from over the popcorn chicken. Then, surprisingly, they requested the chicken bits get the boot also! The spaghetti remained covered. Can you say gitzy? Not sure what I was supposed to do with the popcorn things. I just left them on a plate.

After nuking the package in the micro for a minute and a half at high, I got to… you guessed it, stir the spaghetti and was then instructed to replace the chicken whatchamacallits. The instructions called for another nuking lasting a minute and a half. I'm assuming this is to make sure everything is actually dead.

OK, the deed has been done. I let the meal sit for a minute. And, rather than eat directly from the tray, I elected to plate the meal like a chef would at some fancy restaurant. (Hey, fancy is as fancy does). That accomplished, I gripped my fork in Roman fashion and dug in like a gladiator.  Hmm, the chicken tasted a lot like the chicken in the Chicken Nuggets and Fries meal only they were smaller in this one. And they were really, really spongy and therefore really disappointing. It must be all that breading. (Note to self; send Banquet a heads up on their spongy breading).

Being a super culinary trooper, I made the effort to eat every bite. The spaghetti tasted just so-so. The chicken, however, was like gnawing on the severed toes of a not so fresh cadaver. Gag me. But, OK, let me get real. It was not really all that bad for a measly .77 centavos (or about a buck in 2015). And who cares that the calories peaked at 270 or the sodium at 470 milligrams or the saturated fat was an artery clogging 3.5 grams? Who cares? Wait! I think I'm getting heart palpitations... Score this one a 5 and please move on to something a little better.

A Critique of Banquet’s Chicken Nuggets and Fries

It was a slow Thursday night and I found myself looking in the fridge for something to eat. I was hungry, but then again, I’m always hungry. I wanted to make something hot, filling and most important, it had to be fast and easy (just like my women). A true American end-of-the-day cuisine for those of us who can’t cook and who love beer...which is most of us. (Hey! It's a male thing).

As I perused the freezer, my wandering eyes were attracted to a pile of TV dinners I had purchased a few days earlier. Now, even though I’m on a sub par fixed (meaning zero) income, I still maintain enough personal essence to purchase only the best in frozen entrees. In this case, it was a Banquet Chicken Nuggets and Fries dinner. Banquet is a household name all across the world, isn’t it?

So anyway, the picture on the package was pretty enticing. As you can see, some sumptuous chicken nuggets nestled next to a pile of French fires. Wow! Looks like more food than I could eat all by myself! (In all fairness, the cost of this feast was a mere .77¢ which should have warned me not to expect too much). With my mouth, now watering, I opened the box….

Hmm, seems there might be a problem here Houston! The tray was so small. Not a meal at all. It didn’t look much like the picture, but OK, I decided to soldier on. Into the microwave it went after first stripping off the cellophane film cover as per instructions. One minute on high, and then I stirred the contents with a fork prior to another minute of nuking. While this was going on, I hummed the Star Spangled Banner...twice!

After removal from the oven, I tried to arrange the contents as closely as possible to what I saw on the box. This was futile as it turned out. As I attempted to move the chicken nuggets, I noticed they felt a bit soft (like my head). I had the feeling there was more breading than meat. (It turned out, I was right on that score). The fries were also a little more mushy than firm. (Reminded me of an old man’s penis. Not that I have a problem in that area mind you)!

I ate this stuff anyway. After all, I had paid almost a buck for it! As I ate, I took a look at the nutritional panel. (As you might have guessed, I don’t have a lot to do). I quickly gathered that, for such a small meal, it sure packed a lot of calories and salt. At just a 142 grams in total weight, I was still getting slammed with about 280 calories not to mention 560 milligrams of sodium. Wow. Kind of a kick in the groin for anyone trying to diet or maintain a low salt diet.

But, for all that. It tasted OK and I promised to make up for this dietary transgression on the morrow by eating a salad. Well, maybe.