Of all the foods I enjoy eating, nothing compares to a good
old fashioned salad that I’ve thrown together myself. Other than the possible
exception of my homemade ‘ranch style’ dressing, there are absolutely no health warnings out about salads. (I
know because I’ve check all the media outlets. There’s nothing – zip! Trust me)!!
Now while I often have agonized over getting Mad Cow disease
after eating beef or a case of dreaded trichinosis from pork or even Type I
diabetes from too much pasta, I feel I’m pretty much in the clear when it comes
to chopping down on a plate of lettuce sativa, onions and celery! (Something
that makes watching mainstream TV ads, as I eat, a little more doable).
“Are you feeling a
little run down lately? Doctors have now shown that three out of ten may be
suffering from Early Brain Tumor Onset
or EBTO! Now, while absolutely nothing can be done about curing EBTO, you can
slow it down and live a relatively ‘normal’ lifestyle. Ask your doctor if
Tumorset® might be right for you!” Yeah, right? No, wrong actually! (God, please save me from these sorts of visual downers that are designed to scare us to death)!
The other thing about a good old fashioned salad is the
endless combinations that are out there! Every sort of vegetable or fruit is
fair game and if you find yourself wandering too far afield (Sausage? Cheese?
Oh My!), you can always quiet any nasty thoughts by using this great power word
– preponderance. As in, ‘
the vast
preponderance of my salad was composed of some really healthy shit!’ Just
be careful here that the ‘preponderance part’ of the ingredients doesn’t slip over
to the dark side. After all, someone remarking, ‘
My Gawd, girl! Is that a slab of ribs in your salad there?’ - will
not go over very well when you get to thinking about it later on!
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