Let's ban those knives!

Let's get rid of these!

After witnessing a number of school shootings recently, the call for universal gun confiscation has been taken up by the far left, a group that certainly is smart and who knows what's best for the rest of us.

Simply Limp rubber knives bend at the slightest touch!

I'm pretty certain that at some point every weapon, including BB guns, sling shots and perhaps even marbles will be banned all across the United States. And that should take care of the problem for once and for all.

However, I'd like to point to the next level that will need to be addressed... knives. The fact is, there are far too many knives in just about every school in the United States! And, as an extreme left leaning zealot, I have realized that it is only a matter of time before these 'instruments of death' will be taken up and used by crazed school students everywhere! What concerns me the most, is the opportunity for kids to kill other kids during the lunch hour in any cafeteria USA. (School cafeteria's are just loaded with all sorts of knives that can easily render horrific death to a young person in about a heartbeat)!

In answer to the call for service, I am starting a National effort to have all knives banished not only from schools, but also restaurants. After all, the only reason to even posses have a metal knife is if you want to cut up some tender meat with it and that's just not fair or progressive! Let's replace metal knives with rubber ones that can only spread butter and little else. My company, 'Simply Limp Rubber ' Inc., will be happy to quote case amounts of these very safe knives to any school anywhere at anytime!

CALL 1-800-SIMLIMP TODAY!