Sunday, October 23, 2011

Critique: Banquet’s Wings!


Finally, after all this time, I get to critique some real man’s food! Wings! Or, more correctly, ‘breaded chicken wing sections’. Anyway, it promises to be HOT & SPICY! A perfect snack to serve to your buddies who have come over to sponge off bask in your culinary generosity while watching the Chiefs trash Oakland.

As is my custom these days, I have a panel on which to score this entrée:
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Pkg art:      5    The artwork could use a little bit of improvement! (See veggie entry).
Reality:      8    Not bad. About what I was hoping for.                       
Cost:          5    At $4 for a box of 12 pieces, it’s on the pricey side!
Smell:        9    The great smell got all my juices going!                
Texture:     7    A little crunchy, but not bad!                      
Taste:         8    Great tasting. Not too hot! The problem is eating only three!   
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Avg:           7    Overall, good food! But, also high in calories!

My principle gripe concerns the lame photo replete with those great looking crispy veggies and dip in the background. Warning Will Robinson! There is no such thing inside the box, so don’t go spending your time looking.

I’m also not sure of what to make of those perky little pyramids on the bottom right corner of the box. Gee, only 25% of the recommended amount of daily meat! I’ll bet there are plenty of nutritionists out there that would like to see people eating NO meat at all! And, right above those nutri-breasts, I’m informed that the ‘Serving suggestion [is] enhanced to show quality’. What the heck are they referring to?  I’ll go out on a limb and say that the 'serving' shown here is actually the entire box of chicken. Eat that and you'd be getting a waist expanding 1,080 load of calories! (Just out of curiosity, I wanted to see what the ‘recommended’ serving amount of 3 ounces actually looked like…see below).

Turns out it’s just three pieces! What? Try serving that to your buddies at your next NFL football get together! "Hey guys! Have some nice hot and spicy wings,” you proudly announce as you carefully place a tiny paper plate with three wings in front of each of your beer bozzeled buddies. Three pairs of slightly unfocused eyes first look down at this meager offering and then back up to your smiling and oh so generous face. I can just hear their comments now….

In the end, however, this was a pretty good deal even at $4! Just watch out for those calories. This one's a heavy hitter in that department!

So, consider picking up a couple and stuffing them in the fridge for the next big game!

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