Gordon Lightfoot. If you could read my mind!

Times now gone by. Songs remembered and people I do miss! SIU campus circa 1970. A chaotic time, where as a young SDS member, an activist I sought with others to bring down a societal construct of which I had no real knowledge. This day, I look back on a fucking good country that will never happen again. 'The living soul is truly immortal. It's only the clay that is weak...'

Bob Marley and waiting...

My roommate in college at SIU was a Jamaican by the name of Carl McPherson. Since that time, long ago, he has become an MD, (and is so to this day). Carl instilled in me a love of his Nation, his race and his intellect. (You get to exchange much in a dorm room over a year's time). Dr. McPherson was, and remains a pivotal force in my life, even now! This song is a poorly made tribute to the man, his race and his kindness.. 'Carl, thank the forces of Nature that you got stuck with me as a roomie)!

Hey! Please watch the (2) scenes and contemplate places you haven't been.

Now, let's let the story go on...

When I arrived at Carbondale on my inaugural trip there, I was shaky, fearful and missing a girl I'd left behind. My paper, mailed to me from the college, told me I was assigned to Allen III, a three story dorm in a complex adjacent to Trueblood Hall. After driving for hours, I was tired and was trying to figure out a way out of the whole mess I'd found myself in.

I remember that the day I arrived on campus, it was God awful hot and so, with tears still in my eyes, I decided to at least get up to my dorm room. Lugging my suitcase to the front door, I was informed that my doom was on the third floor! Fuck! OK. So, up some steps, dragging a case, that was all that remained of my previous life was about all that was left in me. I arrived at my room praying and hoping that my roommate would at least be someone I could relate to. After no little effort, I finally made it to my room.  Looking around, I saw a really small space with two beds, a window between them and a very small chest of drawers on either side...

Exhausted from driving. Heartsick and incredulous at such primitive digs, I broke down and sat on the bed on the left. Now, my plans to escape this prison were foremost in my mind. The ONLY thing that prevented me from bolting that day was the shame of going home. So, I unpacked a few items and prayed for a white man to be my roommate... Of course, I got the blackest young man I'd ever seen... He appeared in the doorway and, guess what? My life got one hell of a lot better... It just so turned out that Carl, was not only black, but also an exchange student and an emerging track star! A very wonderful man that also happened to be a chick magnet - go figure... my life got much much better after that day... [Please forgive any errors here, just too tired to fix them].

Long after my youth's eager transgressions!
Views of times, now long forgotten.
Aged eyes, still with a spark of how,
Looking back, and not knowing how... the fuck I ever survived, to be writing this shit!!

Alone again naturally!

Each of us has a talent in this life. I'm just hoping to find mine before too very long...

In a little while from now,
if I'm not feeling any less sour.
I promised myself to treat myself
and visit a nearby tower.

And, climbing to the top,
will throw myself off.

In an effort to
make it clear to who... ever
Wants to know what it's like, when you're shattered!

Left standing in the lurch, at a church
were people saying, 'My God, that's tough
she stood him up
no point in us remaining'.

We may might as well go home,
as I did on my own.
Alone again, naturally.
To think that only yesterday

I was cheerful, bright and gay!
Looking forward to who wouldn't do
the role I was about to play.

But, as if to knock me down.
Reality came around.
and But, without as much as a mere touch,
cut me into little pieces.

Leaving me to doubt.
Talk about, God in His mercy!

Oh If he really does exist,
why did he desert me?

In my hour of need

I truly am indeed alone naturally...

Sitting on the dock of some bay somewhere.

Otis Redding passed from this earth on December 10, 1967 - Among the many wonderful facets he brought to us was a simple song - On this day in early 2018, I'd love for everyone to picture in their minds, a dock, a bay and who each of us really are in the scheme of God's theme....

I threw out this deal as a sort of meditation and contemplation sort of song that I think Mr. Redding would have appreciated. The conundrum and strange paradox for each of us is living in a crazy and mixed up world are the mixed emotions we have, of both the hoped for reality of our spiritual existence when coldly faced with the absolute frailty our genome. Damn those constantly shredding Telomeres and the physical timeline end of each of us they do foretell. My best hope is that the Creator will catch me when I ultimately fall....Likely a shattered and broken man, still smiling through those tears of earthly existence...

Jefferson Airplane White Rabbit

Does anyone remember Gracie Slick and this song by the Jefferson Airplane? It was a big hit back in the day when I was studying at Southern Illinois University in Carbondale! A song for back then, and yet it still applies today!