Thursday, February 27, 2020

See! Trump's gone and done it again!

Washington D.C. - 'Today, I come to you with a heavy heart'. Intoned a solemn Chuck Schumer, as he stood at a podium flanked by other Democrats. He shuffled some papers and then looked directly into the camera and state, "As you all know, the Coronavirus has now infected almost 80 individuals all across our great country and I have called again on President Trump to declare a State of Marshal Law, effective immediately." [A tittering sound came from somewhere behind him.. was that laughter?]

"As you know, President Trump has done everything possible to impair the House's call for one trillion dollars in aid to help curve off what might be an out of control pandemic.' Chuck stopped for a moment to let his grave words sink in... He then resumed, 'What we have now a situation that will have an even graver impact than the recent 4000 point drop in the Dow Jones!' Chuck then raided a forefinger and stabbed it at the nearest camera. "And let it be known that this has transpired on Trump's watch!" Chuck took a deep breath. "My fellow Americans, something must be done about the monster before he wrecks the economy even more than what we've endured these past three years!' Chuck then spread his arms while his eyes sweep the auditorium.; "True, thus far only a few citizens have perished from the virus, yet perhaps this is only the beginning of the end!" Directly behind Chuck and off to his left, Nancy was smiling ear to ear. She was also looking just a bit deranged...

The room was so silent, at that point, you could hear a pin drop. Chuck then reached down and pulled up a handful of documents and held them proudly up for everyone present to see. 'I have here NEW articles of impeachment that were drawn up in a closed door session just last night.' He then turns and solemnly hands the papers over to Nancy, who seems about to swoon. Chuck continued. 'Our evidence of high crimes is overwhelming (this time) and I will be calling for a full vote in the House next Tuesday.'

Chuck then turns as though he was finished speaking, but stops and turns back to face the cameras. 'Oh, I almost forgot. Sanders has taken suddenly ill and is in a coma. Graciously filing his shoes will be Michelle Obama, who I am sure will do a great job!' Chuck then left the stage and headed for his chair, where He shooed out an invisible person, before sitting down.....

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