A form for living!

One of the good aspects of being OCD is my ability to set up a schedule of activities and then stick to it. Over the past couple of months, I've created a form that allows me to  focus on and then track some improvements I want to make in my life. They were, in no particular order;

1) Cut back on beer drinking.
2) Lose 15 pounds of unneeded weight.
3) Improve my diet.
4) Work on improve my over all state of physical health. This with an eye towards improving my foot pain due to sciatica.

I started this program on the third of July and have stuck with it. During that time, I managed to cut beer out entirely for the four weeks of July and the first week of August. I then fell back into my old habits, but have succeeded in improved moderation. I also went from 196 pounds down to a current 188, so that part of the program has also paid some dividends. The only area I seem to be lacking in is that of getting in a good 16 minutes of cardio-based exercise. still working on that one. Finally, my foot condition has improved also! Not dramatically, mind you, but I am seeing some steady progress.

The key to reaching a goal, any goal, is in the form of consistency of action. You have to be motivated enough to get up every day and perform some series of activities that gets you a bit closer to where you want to go. In my case, every day is a battle fought during the course of a long war. Some days, I've hit on all cylinders, while other days have been pretty much of a disaster. But, the important thing is that I will strive to do a little better the next day. (Say, that's that's pretty much what life is all about, isn't it)?

My new logo!

 We all exist in a sort of event horizon bubble that always moves forward throughout our lives. And that movement is not smooth! It exists as tiny jumps of what is known as Planck time. The formula, shown here:

defines time as divided into ten to the minus 44 segments that flash into and then out of existence at an incredible fast pace!  The past events that were so clear a moment ago, quickly become blurred and then eventually lost. The future hits us with incessant and ephemeral fury. Our lives are like some poor ship of souls, cast out on an endless sea, forever cleaving unknown waters while leaving a muddled wake of dreams behind.

Stranded on the Mun!

In a far away location in space exists a planet known as Kirbin. It's a nice little planet populated with

friendly inhabitants known as Kerbals. A race that is actually ahead of us on planet earth in terms of its technology as they have a very active space program. There's even a game out that's called KSP for Kerbal Space Program that us earthling can play for a small pittance.

Well, it seems that three if the planet's citizens, Bill, Bob and Jedediah Kerman (who are also brothers) have gotten themselves stranded on the planets satellite which they call the Mun. Strange coincidence that! Anyway, it seems that they ran out of fuel just as they landed and are now STRANDED! And, it will be up to me, a mere earthling, to try and get them rescued. 

After hearing of their plight, I jumped into a nearby space-time worm hole and flashed over to their planet in a jiffy. [It's too bad that worm hole travel is invariably fatal to Kerbians, otherwise I could have plucked their scrawny green arses right off that Mun without much ado]. No, I'd have to go to the planet, pay for and then build a ship to go get them. (Nothing comes easy for us hero types)!

After I got settled in at a hotel on Kirbin, (a rather shabby affair called The Droige), I got right on over to the local space center to head up the construction effort. Almost immediately, I was faced with some challenges.(But, thankfully, I also got a break. It turned out that the rate of exchange on Kerbin was a million 'kerbinos' per human dollar)! That allowed me to construct the rescue ship shown here! It cost just $3,577,000 kerbinos and was even fitted with a rescue cell that would just hold three lucky Kirbins! I could hardly wait to set sail!

The journey to the Mun was perilous to be sure. As Kirbin's gravity, at 9.81 m/sec² was just about that of earth, I manged to burn up a couple of tons of fuel just to get into a 75km orbit around their planet. Then, I had to perform what is called a Hohmann transfer maneuver in order to transition to a stable Mun orbit. Lotta work that was!

From there, more calculations were needed to do a burn that would be precise enough to get my ship down in the vicinity of the disabled Kirbans. Yes, it was tough, but you know what they say about when the going gets tough...! Suffice it to say that I made it and was able to get Bill, Bob and Jed back to their home planet. That evening, we all celebrated in fine style!

Two probes meet in a far distant time!

It was with some irony that the Supreme Creator watched, with an amused smile, as the last two pieces of intelligent design met in silent tribute....

Nick Drake and Saturday Sun - circa 1969!

 

'But Saturday’s sun has turned to Sunday’s rain
So Sunday sat in the Saturday sun

and wept for a day gone by..'

It took me just about forever to understand the real meaning behind Nick Drake's most beautiful song Saturday Sun.

Composed, and then released in 1969 under the Five Leaves Left album, Saturday Sun was the last song on that album. It was cut number 10, and sadly the album as a whole, didn't sell well at the time..... (It's picked up since then, and is selling well as of 2014)!

Just four short years after the albums release, Mr. Drake committed suicide, and died from an overdose of amitriptyline. Was it an intentional act? No one knows. What is sure, is that he battled constant depression, (something I too am very familiar with). Nick, you see, was very self conscious about his height, even to the point of distraction. And, he used that as a focus..... I guess that's all it takes.... some perceived short coming and off we all go to the deep end of the mental pool! Well, Nick, thanks for the song and a lesson well learned! (Thankfully, and in point of fact, I'm actually quite short myself)! But, in both our lives, a large dog still guards us nightly!

PM Today - This Disease! A call to cellular reality!

Just in case your flying in from here ....

PLEASE STOP! 

Listen at your own peril. Yes, I do like this kind of music....

Captured here is the essence of the title...read the lyrics and expand your mind...

If I could say anything to you
If I had one chance to let you know
If my last words could make you choke
I'd save my final breath for you
And only you

Do you feel this disease kill my 

heart (eyes) like a summer breeze

maybe it's just my luck, hope I never wake up
goodbye to you goodbye to you just to be with you
and maybe I'm out of luck hope I never wake up
wake up [x2]

I'm dying just to let you know, that I could never let you go
I'm dying just to let you know, that I could never let you go

This could be the one this could be the one (one shot now) [x4]

Do you feel this disease
kill my heart like a summer breeze
maybe it's just my luck, hope I never wake up
goodbye to you goodbye to you just to be with you
and maybe I'm out of luck hope I never wake up
wake up
wake up [Repeat]

This could be the one this could be the one (one shot now) [x4]

Sorry! I know that song was severe to the ear, but then again, so is life! As we age, we all gradually lose our senses, literally! Olfactory, vision, hearing and touch all go by the wayside. Like a parade that passed by one summer day. Although, I'm not sure about the fifth sense -  taste.. so far, mine is working OK... for I am a tastefully useless entity!
 

"The essence of all burgeoning existence is, I feel, the un-hearable (to us) screams of eukaryotic cells that participate in the birthing process... A birthing event that occurs for all life forms that are brought into this existence... And, who then forget that pain...

After this inglorious arrival into a strange reality we call 'existence', a metatastic and wonderful evolution has shaped itself over many eons of time and which has resulted in a class of beings with an awareness of self! We are aware! Yet, we share a biologic awareness, to some degree or another, with all life forms no matter how complex or simple they might be. And therein lies the rub!

Sadly (even strangely), as part of the ticket of being a 'sentient form of life', we became divinely cursed (avowed) with an awareness of self. And, while all life forms share some level of this awareness in all the ensuing chaos of each proto-beings short existence; what happens to humankind burns at a much higher level of exquisite and beautiful pain! For a higher order of being holds us to His level.

In the end of all the protoplasmic insanity, as we age according to the flippant and harsh dictates of cellular and teliomeric shredding, genetic abnormalities and even bad luck, will be (hopefully) a God who cares! A supreme Deity who just might just catch our essence as we near the end! (Personally, and for myself, I  hope I never wake up, and that I continue to dream)!

Bottom line - I will not plan to go quietly into the night! I will fight for my life and my right to exist to the very end! To the extent that when I do pass through the next veil, I shall stand in tattered clothes, utterly drained from this life's experience and will smile! I think God might approve of that!" Note:this diatribe is a work in progress.... my heavenly Father has never made my course simple, but rather a challenge, and I thank Him for that!

In a dream, I stood before Jesus and He held out before Him a chalice, a cup of wine and then He asked me a question. 'Would you drink from this... you sad sad man? For who so ever tastes of the grape of this vine will also taste the pain of man.' I shook my head no, with my eyes cast down, and slowly walked away...You see, I remembered the pains of my birthing into this earthly existence clearly and so do remember even to this day. And so, I long ago, caught God's gaze.... not a really good thing, as it turned out. No bennies here and lots of trials and tribulations over my time of life.... Still, I know, as apart from simple belief, that He will catch me when I pass from this earthly existence... and that is good enough for this poor man's soul.....

Right at this moment. Only one in a thousand would have made it this far (OK, just 85K plus world wide)! Then, please go one video further! I would hope that He is not just one of us... Kristiina Brask, half in Finnish and the other half in English...thanks very much to the 81,000 plus who have viewed her very awesome video. Note: the author currently resides in a very nice home with only walls of rubber to silence him. Lastly, I have had many invitations to visit various centers of mental health... and a pardon goes out to PM Today... Oh, and yes here is that 401 link, that 2 viewers have asked me for....

You should run run run!