Thank goodness for all that stimulus money!

After receiving money from the Obama administration, I wisely invested in a ‘fixer upper’ restaurant in what is quite frankly a poor section of town. The place cost over $200K, but I really didn’t care as it was not my money anyway! Ha Ha! I’m also told the location is such that if I get in a pinch, I can sell drugs out the back door. Sweet!

Please note there is water only on occasion (corroded pipes) and the sewer keeps backing up after a hard rain. (So, if you have to go often, please try and wait for a sunny day). These code problems were ‘fixed’ by me greasing the palms of the Building Inspector just prior to my grand opening last week.

Oh, and did I mention that the power is off at this time. Turns out the aluminum wiring keeps overheating and tripping the breakers. I’m having an electrician friend of mine come out and removing those pesky breakers. There! Problems all solved.

And, about that stiff out front. He did so not die of food poisoning! Thanks, I'll be lurking waiting inside to service you!

America needs a way out!

While reading this it wouldn’t hurt to play Waylon Jennings & Willie Nelson’s - Just To Satisfy You ! A song about how someone’s gonna get hurt before we’re all through. Perhaps surprisingly, I think that someone is gonna be China and I think it’s gonna be soon!

This country is hurting right at the moment. We owe a whole bunch of money to people that not only dislike the West, but who have been taking advantage whenever and wherever they could. The Fair Trade Act we signed lo these many years ago appears to have been heavily slanted in China’s favor while trying to force the US to directly compete with thirty cent an hour Chinese workers. That didn’t turn out too well, did it?

Now a trillion and some change later, a very large portion of our industrial might has moved on over there where, surprise, we’re still getting screwed and tattooed! China keeps getting stronger while we keep getting weaker! Or, is that really going to be the case? What would happen if we decided to default on that money? Hmm.  Moral one – don’t let a foreign power sucker you like that again because it can spark a very nasty war!

Next, we have troops deployed all over hells creation. Some of whom have been stationed in countries, like Germany, since I was but a mere lad. We’re constantly fighting wars and protecting other countries borders while allowing our southern border to look like a sieve. All this at a cost of (wait for it), trillions of dollars. Moral two – bring em all back and let our neighbors work out their own problems. Place these troops on our southern border, if you have too, and enjoy the effect.

Finally, for so very long now, we have been sucking at the oil nipple of countries that really dislike us. Countries that would like to see America get hurt in any way possible. We’re on the hook to some of these folks for much of our energy needs and one of these days, they may just decide pull that chain around our necks…hard! Moral three – drill baby drill! (Sarah you might just yet have your day)!

Three morals and three things we need to learn from them. It’s not too late America! Please consider sending this, or your own message, to your Federal representatives. Do it soon, however America, or we might have to start learning to speak Mandarin.

Dan’s Produce Outlet of America: A business miracle?

In what historians will surely refer to as a genuine ‘rags to riches’ story, Dan’s Produce Outlets of America have officially become a national treasure.

Whether you’re talking about Dan’s cabbage, Dan’s tomatoes or even Dan’s bananas, Dan’s Produce Outlets of America is now a household name all across America. The real miracle though, according to some experts, has been the way in which owner Dan Owen has managed to keep his boyish charm while looking through a veil of stunning success.

Starting out with just thirty square feet of raised beds in 2008, Dan quickly turned that diminutive space located in Forsyth Missouri, into a mega business that is now estimated to be worth billions of dollars. What was the key to his success? While making a televised speech outside his lavish home in Houston, Texas DanO was heard to say, “I always wanted to do something for my family and friends and then it came to me! Why not grow a few veggies!” Seriously, that’s what he said.

Mr. Owen (who openly admits to receiving heavy subsidies from the government) wants people to know that he is ‘is not doing this for himself, but rather for all the little people out there’. He promises to continue offering the best produce ‘at competitive prices’ and insists that he will not be teaming up with Obama for the 2012 presidential ticket. Dan Owen, a man to watch!