Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Help ban the abbreviation handicapped! I mean totally!

Having survived Valspeak, I now find myself assaulted anew in the 21st Century! Whether you call them abbreviations or Chat Acronyms, I think they are being misused. Especially with those of you out there with a limited vocabulary. LOL. See! I just used one there. Annoying wasn’t it? LOL means ‘laughing out loud’ and for some e-mailers, texters and twitterites out there, that is about the extent of their ability to communicate. Here’s a real world example of a text message I have received:

Hey! Thanks for letting me share LOL. Thanks for being so kind. LOL! I just shot my neighbor. LOL”!

This note could better be written as:

Hey! TFLMS for getting back. TKU4UK. LOL! I just helped my neighbor into the next world. FOMCL

See! Much better! Actually, there exists a whole list of these abrevs, but who cares? I mean IGWS that IHA and maybe there’s nothing wrong with the English language just the way it is. Like IIABDFI!

Note: I’ve sent our esteemed president a note asking him to instruct the FCC to prohibit the general use of abbreviations unless the person has passed a state administered test showing proficiency in said. (Sort of like a drivers test, but for the internet if you get my drift). Fail the test and you will have your texting ability severely limited by (who else) the FCC!  

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