Dear Mr. Patrick Betz,
Congratulations! You have been specially selected by Bas Landsdorper et al. to participate in a manned fly-by of Mars which will take place on the morning January 2, 2018
from Cape Kennedy Florida
in a space vehicle designed exclusively by Spaced-OutX.
 |
| Cosmonaut Burswadle |
Mr. Betz, this honor has been afforded to you after the
failure of anyone to willingly step forward as a volunteer for a 501 day
journey in a cramped space capsule where spartan conditions will definitely prevail.
However, Mr. Betz, you will not go alone! Mr. Landsdorper is also proud to announce that Russian
Cosmonaut Helga Burswadle has agreed
to accompany you on this most auspicious mission for all of humankind!
This epic journey of over a year and a half will pit; human
endurance, extremely cramped quarters (not to mention the likely advances of one very determined cosmonaut)
against all possible odds of survival! We also would like to advise you, Mr. Betz, that you will be exposed to extremely high levels of radiation
for most of the trip and will therefore be encouraged to wear our custom designed metal
athletic supporter at all times.
 |
| Mr. Betzel shortly after receiving word! |
Mr. Betz, we request that you get prepared mentally and then present yourself to the space
terminal no later than December 31, 2017. Please note that there will be no need for a doctor's physical or other
preparations prior to us placing you (by force, if necessary) into that cozy little capsule
with Helga! God speed and good luck!
If you make it back, Mr. Betz, a party will be held in your honor. (If you don't make it back, we will hold one anyway).
If you make it back, Mr. Betz, a party will be held in your honor. (If you don't make it back, we will hold one anyway).
Bas Landsdorper
CEO Mars One
CEO Mars One
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