Sunday, April 28, 2019

A stormy day in spring!

The day began calm enough with partly cloudy skies, nice temps at about 70 and the only sign of coming trouble the very persistent winds out of the east. It was a though there existed a mammoth floor vacuum somewhere just over the western horizon that was sucking for all it was worth.

DanO was sitting in his easy chair, sipping on a cup of hot coffee when the first rumble of approaching doom sounded outside. He got up and went over to a west facing balcony where he could see very dark clouds boiling upwards with occasional lightening flashes lancing out like heavenly arrows. Just then, my weather alert radio went off. Grimacing, he quickly walked over to it and slammed my hand down on a button to silence the pesky device. The room then lit up with a dazzling lighting flash and at that moment he knew what he had to do.

“It's that damn climate change', he mumbled to himself as he went to the sliding glass door of his forth floor condo and firmly closed the drapes. He then shuffled off in my robe to climb back into bed to sleep through the coming storm....


Fifteen minutes later, DanO was sound asleep as a category F-5 tornado sporting winds of over 290 miles an hour tore through the entire complex leveling every building in a mindless inferno of wind and debris that left nothing much alive above ground. The half mile wide path of destruction used an elaborate set of boat docks as the bullseye leaving not a shred of evidence that anything had ever existed there before. But wait! There's more!

In what scientists would later describe as nothing short of a miracle, old DanO managed to survive even after the twister first tore open the ceiling above his bed and then scooped it up to go flying hundreds of feet into the air with a not very much awake man holding on. That ride lasted for over five minutes and ended as the man and the bed were almost gently deposited in a field near a park over five miles away!

Emergency personnel, upon arriving at the scene, were shocked to see the man completely unharmed. And rather than going to the hospital to be checked out, he requested they drop him off at area thrift shop, as all his clothes had been stripped from his body.

And so began the legend of Twister Dan the Naked Man! [Novel to come in the fall of 2019]

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