The day began calm enough with partly
cloudy skies, nice temps at about 70 and the only sign of coming
trouble the very persistent winds out of the east. It was a though
there existed a mammoth floor vacuum somewhere just over the western
horizon that was sucking for all it was worth.
DanO was sitting in his easy chair, sipping
on a cup of hot coffee when the first rumble of approaching doom
sounded outside. He got up and went over to a west facing balcony
where he could see very dark clouds boiling upwards with
occasional lightening flashes lancing out like heavenly arrows. Just
then, my weather alert radio went off. Grimacing, he quickly walked
over to it and slammed my hand down on a button to silence the pesky
device. The room then lit up with a dazzling lighting flash and at
that moment he knew what he had to do.
“It's that damn climate change', he mumbled to himself as he went to the sliding glass door of his forth
floor condo and firmly closed the drapes. He then shuffled off in my robe to
climb back into bed to sleep through the coming storm....
---------------------------
Fifteen minutes later, DanO was sound
asleep as a category F-5 tornado sporting winds of over 290 miles an hour
tore through the entire complex leveling every building in a mindless
inferno of wind and debris that left nothing much alive above ground. The half mile
wide path of destruction used an elaborate set of boat docks as the
bullseye leaving not a shred of evidence that anything had ever existed
there before. But wait! There's more!
In what scientists would later describe
as nothing short of a miracle, old DanO managed to survive even after the
twister first tore open the ceiling above his bed and then scooped it
up to go flying hundreds of feet into the air with a not very much
awake man holding on. That ride lasted for over five minutes and
ended as the man and the bed were almost gently deposited in a field
near a park over five miles away!
Emergency personnel, upon arriving at the scene, were
shocked to see the man completely unharmed. And rather than going to
the hospital to be checked out, he requested they drop him off at
area thrift shop, as all his clothes had been stripped from his body.
And so began the legend of Twister
Dan the Naked Man! [Novel to come in the fall of 2019]
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