Excerpt - Dudley Storch, age 34, woke up with a rather severe hangover. It was an early Monday morning in spring and all around him were the sounds of other people who were living in his apartment building, getting ready to go to work. Looking out a nearby window, he could see that it was going to be a bright and sunny morning. The sounds of car doors being opened and then shut drifted up into his room.
'Shit', he thought. 'Do they have have to make so much noise?' Dudley slowly sat up in bed and stretched. A movement that only made his head pound more. Slowly, so as not to pass out, he swung his feet over the edge and onto the floor. One foot lightly rested on an overturned beer can. As he stood up, however, the can collapsed under his weight. (Thankfully, it was empty of any contents). Just then, there was a loud knock out in the living room at his front door.
[Bam Bam Bam] 'Hey in there! Anyone at home?' Came a muffled feminine voice.
'Yeah, hold on a sec will ya!' Dudley shouted out from his room, while trying to get one foot into a pair of faded jeans. His foot didn't quite make the leg hole and he stumbled against a dresser. Hopping up and down now, he was finally able to get both his feet into the jeans and was then able to wrench them up around his small waist. (A waist that also exhibited just the hint of a developing beer gut). He also needed to pee, but felt the need to get to the door first to see what all the fuss was about.
Out in the living room, everything had gone quiet. Dudley, shirtless, with splayed out hair and a full bladder approached his front door. He grasped the knob and slowly opened his door that had a large '5' on it, stamped just over a peep hole. Looking out both ways, he saw that the hall was empty before noticing a white piece of paper that had fallen from the door jam. Bending down, with a frown on his face, he picked it up and went back inside.
Going to the bathroom and then into the kitchen, he tossed the note onto the top of a well worn kitchen table before scrounging around inside the fridge. Grabbing a container of milk and some juice, he turned to place them next to the note before going after a half empty box of cereal.
Finally, seated with a bowl of Cheerios and a glass of milk and juice, he opened the note and read....